Like all Spiritual Masters, I am well aware that heartbreak is a construct of this reality. I know that there’s only love and joy. I know that the highest vibration is enlightenment which functions at between 700-1000 Hz. Every emotion below that has a slower vibration, such as hurt and anger which functions at 150 Hz and 75 Hz respectively.
I am aware that these feelings are contracted and we attract what we feel. I know this. I am aware. But that doesn’t stop me or any other person from experiencing the intensity of it.
It doesn’t stop me from having the pangs of pain prick my heart as I experience heartbreak. Yes, I am a vibrational being having a human experience, but dang it, human emotions are deep. They hurt. But, our ability to feel is what makes us so powerful. People, generally, experience it as a reaction within the body.
Being Spiritual and aware doesn’t absolve you from your feeling state. You’re just more conscious of it. You can become aware of the fact that the person, who you perceived as causing this emotion to be triggered, is not the cause of that emotion. Let me say this louder for the people in the back. Nobody is responsible for your feeling state. Yes, they may play a part in triggering it through their actions (which is basically what you can hold them accountable for), but they do not cause how you feel. You do. We’re all responsible for nurturing our feelings or emotional state. In simple terms what I’m saying is, if someone cheats on you, the feeling that invokes (which is usually betrayal) is a feeling that you have within you. The person who cheated on you is accountable for their behaviour. Not how you feel.
Further on this, which will really blow your mind, the feeling of betrayal that you had within you, is what attracted the experience to begin with. Yes, I know that this is difficult to accept. It defies what we think is cause and effect (I’ll explain more about this principle in another post).
Heartbreak, as you all know, is not solely a consequence of the end of romantic relationships or friendships. Any type of grief, whether it’s the death of a loved one or even the experience of failure, can be heartbreaking.
Here are a few ways to support yourself in moving through it.
Feel the feeling
Often, the way that we typically deal with our emotions is to either bottle it up or try to escape it through avoidance. This can be in the form of sex, drugs or just going on a general bender. None of which truly supports you in the healing process.
Feeling your feelings just means allowing yourself to be the way that you are at this moment. Allow yourself to experience your emotions. Allow yourself to cry, scream or be sad. Your emotions are completely valid. Give yourself the healthy space to experience what you’re feeling. Sometimes it is overwhelming. Sometimes, you may feel as though you’re reliving the moment over and over again. The key here is to feel the feeling. Not to live in your head and overanalyze everything. Although this is allowed, as all experiences are, it just delays your healing, and you fail to take responsibility for your feeling state. All that you’re doing is perpetuating the cycle of blame.
Allow yourself to have feelings and value who you are, while you’re sad or angry. If you’re able to, feel the feeling in your body. Give it a name, colour or shape. Ask it what it requires to feel better. Give it what it wants. This may be acceptance, love, or even a lollipop. See it in your imagination. The feeling will eventually dissipate or at the very least it will lessen. It may take one session to give yourself this space, or several. Do what is best for you in that moment and just allow it flow.
Heartache is an indication that the heart chakra is out of sync. Another way to feel your feelings is through Chakra balancing. There are several chakra balancing techniques that you may use to bring yourself back into alignment and support your healing.
- Meditation – Sit or lie down comfortably. Set your intention for the meditation. This could be anything. I advise you to keep it simple. Here’s an example: “My intention today is to allow healing to take place and to bring my heart chakra back into alignment. I allow what no longer serves me to gracefully leave. I allow myself to have all that serves me in my growth.” Focus on your breathe and come to a space of stillness. If you have rampant thoughts, allow it. You can’t stop your thoughts but you can remind yourself of your intention. Place your attention on your heart chakra. Breathe into this space and visual a bright green light flowing into it. Imagine it as a healing energy and allow and accept that the healing has occurred. Feel the cracks within, mend. The point of this is to take your focus off blaming the other person for how you feel and to bring your attention back to you.
- Chanting – If you’re not a visual person, perhaps chanting will support you. Healing comes in all forms as long as we’re open to experiencing it. While you’re in a meditative state, focus on the heart chakra and chant “Yam” several times. The power of sound during healing is underrated. Just think about how music affects your mood as a practical example. If you’re not comfortable chanting, there are many YouTube links that are available for you to access that will do the chanting for you.
- Breathing – Breathing is the first thing that we do when we’re born into this reality, and the last thing that we let go of as we exit. Take a long deep breathe in, hold it, and then release your breathe in a long and deep motion. Focus on your heart chakra. This is a self-soothing technique that gently calms the heart. This may take several breathes. Do this until your feel the physical ache dissolve. Be patient and give your body what it requires. Healing doesn’t typically happen overnight…unless you’re open to it.
These are just a few of the methods that you can use to support yourself in mending your broken heart. The most important things to remember is that it takes time and patience. Allow yourself to feel and deal with these emotions. Yes, you can eat ice-cream and go into a sugar coma. Yes, you can watch sad movies or listen to sad songs or write in your journal. All of these procedures are valid but also acknowledge the emotion, value yourself while you’re feeling this way and let it go. Do this as many times and take as long as you want. There’s no competition or prize in how quickly you heal.
The thoughts expressed in this article are my own, however the methods used are a combination of techniques that I’ve learnt from various teachers and books.